Bro Tips – Volume Three

A Keeping It Real Post

After my way-too-short-Hawaiian-hiatus, Widow Wednesday is back. I figured I’d kick things off with a funny one, and I cannot tell you how much I look forward to this post every year. I’m truly blessed to have the men in my life, my Bros, who continue to guide and support me. They always have my back. Their advice is thoughtful and hilarious, and my life wouldn’t be the same without it, or them. Lucky for you, their dating advice is too comedic not to share. Enjoy!

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Top 10 Bro Tips on Men and Dating–Volume Three

1. What is the matter with you? Don’t you dare offer to pay for anything. He should be paying.
2. Don’t dumb it down for a dude. The right guy won’t be intimidated by your intellect or success. Be yourself.
3. You’re too much for most men, especially since you give zero f#$%s and don’t need them. Most men are insecure. You need a strong one, a real man. But have you ever thought about maybe toning it down a little? Not to be fake, still be you, just a little less. But only in the beginning. Think of it like keeping the protective cover on your brand new cell phone. Just for a few weeks, then rip it off.
4. I trust your judgment, but I still get to qualify him, to make sure.
5. If your relationship with us (the Bros) is threatening, he has insecurity issues. Run away now.
6. Don’t pigeonhole yourself with men our age. Do you ever think about dating younger men? Younger men are probably a better option for you.
7. If you have to question if it’s right, you know the answer, and it’s a “no.” Chalk it up as a good experience and move on.
8. The right guy will overcommunicate how he feels about you, bombarding you with nerdy messages.
9. You need to stop looking. Diamonds are really hard to find, especially the extremely valuable ones. They don’t go looking to be found. Anyway, blokes are generally not worth the effort. Everything amazing that was found was stumbled upon. You are the diamond BTW.
10. And if the right guy isn’t out there, you’re living life to the hilt. WTF It’s amazing what you’re doing. A guy merely accompanies the journey, he’s not the centerpiece, eh?

Runners Up

1. Don’t fall for a European. He won’t appreciate you enough or understand you; you’re too American. (Love my American Bros who worry they can’t protect me when I’m far away.)
2. Don’t fall for an American. He won’t appreciate you enough or understand you; you’re too international. (From my Euro Bros, obviously.)
3. Aunt Lisa, do you need help talking to guys? I can help you. (Dating advice from a 16-year-old.)
4. Your tweets about your widow dating comedy are funny AF, but…some guys might be scared. Although that means they aren’t right for you. But seriously, maybe you shouldn’t put your comedy bit on YouTube.