• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The Real Lisa Bain

The Wandering Widow

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Email Sign UP
  • Buy Book
  • Grief Recovery Project
  • Friends & Family
  • Coping with Grief
  • Health
  • Travel
  • New Book: Heart Of A Kingdom
Home » Coping with Grief» Grief Recovery Project» Widowhood » Broken Is Beautiful

Broken Is Beautiful

October 24, 2017 By Lisa Bain

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Broken Is BeautifulA Wondering Widow Post

Kintsugi, or Kintsukuroi, is the Japanese aesthetic that repairs broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold powder. The belief is that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. This philosophy honors its survival rather than hiding the fact it was once damaged.

Broken Is Beautiful Wandering Widow

 

I love this metaphor as it applies to grief recovery, and not just because glitter is my favorite color. I can remember sitting with my grief counselor bawling about how broken I was. And being broken was terrifying. But somehow owning my brokenness, out loud, made it a little better. The simple act of acknowledging my being shattered meant that I also had the opportunity to put myself back together. Someday. With precious metal as the glue.

And it wasn’t easy, but it happened. First I had to crawl around on the floor picking up as many shards of my life as I could find. I was already a broken mess of a grieving human being and their sharp edges cut me open as I tried to make them fit where they once belonged. No one warned me that the grief recovery process could be so gruesome, bloody and painful. What I couldn’t find either couldn’t be replaced or didn’t need to be. The reality is when you’ve suffered a massive loss, you’ll never go back to being the person you once were. Some of those shattered pieces of your heart just turn to dust.

The good news is, with time, your heart has the potential to end up stronger, and more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. Those missing pieces create space for the light to get in, and eventually for sparkly precious metals.

Broken in beautiful real lisa Bain

A few months ago I had a conversation with a friend and fellow W. We were discussing our grief journeys, our survival, and the fact that we were both transformed into new people through the grief recovery process. Stronger, kinder, wiser, braver, more loving people. We struggled for words for a bit but were eventually able to express that it was the deaths of our beloveds that were the catalyst for us to become these better people. We were able to take the horror and the pain and transform their loss into a blessing. And that while we never wanted it, we were grateful for all of it. I’m sure if anyone else had been eavesdropping it would have been an odd conversation, but we knew what we meant. Grief’s fiery forges took the raw material of who we used to be and made us MORE.

broken is beautiful wandering widow

Neither of us would have EVER surrendered our husbands no matter what kind of higher evolution was waiting for us, but we didn’t get a vote.

quote broken beautiful wandering widow

And no matter how much time goes by, or how much happiness I’ve created in my new life, every now and again I find another shard. It slices through the soft pink scar tissue of my heart. It hurts. But I know that it’s just a matter of time before it’s glued in there with gold.

XOXO,

The Wandering Widow

Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

broken is beautiful quote blog

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Filed Under: Coping with Grief, Grief Recovery Project, Widowhood


*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Primary Sidebar

Heart Of A Kingdom Cover Lisa Bain

Heart of a Kingdom is a riveting tale of love, courage, loss, and survival set in the magical Kingdom of the Talking Tres, and the City of Belfast. Newly widowed Queen Libby must endure the devastating loss of her husband, do the … Read More about New Book: Heart Of A Kingdom

A Little About Me

Lisa Bain became a young widow in 2016 after losing her husband to cancer. She quickly learned we live in a grief phobic society, which isolates the grieving even further. With both humor and heartbreak, she shares her story and lessons she's learned to help those grieving remember they aren't alone, and to help their family and friends that just don't know what to do to help.

Lisa Bain: More about me

Looking for something?

Connect with me online

  • Email
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Sign up for The Real Lisa Bain

* = required field

Archives

Featured Post

Changing Lanes

Hi, Friends. It's been a while. A long while. As we move from the quiet, restorative energy of winter into all the … Read More about Changing Lanes

Footer

Recent Posts

  • The Winds of Change: Introducing Project Dandelion
  • One More Day
  • Love, Boise
  • Changing Lanes
  • Grief and New Year’s Purging

Connect With Me

  • Email
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

SEARCH

Copyright © 2022 · TheRealLisaBain.com Privacy Policy