The Real Lisa Bain

The Wandering Widow

Travel

We to Me: Reclaiming My Favorite Places (A Week on the Oregon Coast)

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I want to reclaim who I am.
~Elizabeth Edwards

A Wandering Widow Post

When Dan first died, my hospice chaplain gave me some advice that took awhile for me to understand. He told me that avoiding the places that were important to WE, made Dan disappear. Jay gently suggested that it would be important for ME to reclaim them as my own. Being me, I did the exact opposite. I sold our dream home, moved to a part of town Dan hated, quit watching our favorite football team (Sorry Boise State Broncos), and avoided our favorite restaurants and activities. It was as if anything familiar made the oppressive weight of his loss that much more painful.

Fast forward two years, and I finally get what Chaplain Jay was talking about. By avoiding anything that was WE, I was also shutting down anything that was ME. Hey, I’m a slow learner sometimes, but I do pay attention.

Reclaiming

Sunset over Depoe Bay

So there I sat, with a cup of coffee, watching whales crest outside my balcony in Depoe Bay, reclaiming one of my favorite places: the Oregon Coast. I was lucky enough to be with two of my favorite people, who made the trip with us every time, even after WE became ME.

The only times I’d ever been on the Oregon Coast were with Dan, and they were after the word CANCER had entered our lives. We were on a time crunch to make as many memories as we could. Since he spent summers there as a kid it was important to him that he share it with me. Last year was the last time we came together. Only that time what was left of him was stashed in a Maker’s Mark bottle and we scattered him at a waterfall.

This time it was different. Just like reclaiming Boise for my own, this week on the coast was about rediscovering the beauty and happiness of this national treasure. No more Dan shaped voids, just the occasional pangs of memories and lots of laughs channeling his funny sayings and sometimes surly behavior.

Cheers to all my W Sisters taking the often painful steps of reclaiming the joys in life.

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my Oregon Coast Road Trip photos.

THE WAY THERE

It’s an almost nine-hour drive to Depoe Bay from Boise. When we visited before, we broke that up into multiple days since Dan was too ill to be in the car that long. I’d forgotten how much I hate long car drives, but we did manage to stop at every scenic view lookout along the way (my sister-in-law is a saint). And since you have to pass through Hood River (Dan’s childhood summer haunt), we made sure to stop at Mike’s Ice Cream for their famous huckleberry shakes. This is one of our family favorites, and when we stay in Hood River it’s a daily stop. (Cash only for those of you who like to plan ahead).

DEPOE BAY

Yaquina Head Lighthouse.

We chose to make Depoe Bay our home base for the week of Independence Day. This is the whale watching capital of Oregon and a quiet coastal town. We stayed at an Airbnb condo with an ocean view, and a short five-minute walk to food, shops, and whale watching off the cliffs. Our first night we were treated to one of the most amazing sunsets I’ve ever witnessed and the sight of whales breaking the surface of the ocean. I could have stayed on that cliffside forever.

Dinner at Horn Public House got us out of the wind, without sacrificing our sunset and whale watching views. We ate here several times and were impressed with the service and the food, although the last hour of the evening they go to a very limited menu. Definitely try their house brewed beers before you leave. My favorite was the Little Whale Cream Ale, but I recommend trying them all.

There isn’t a lot of great beach access in Depoe Bay, although Fogarty Creek Park is pretty enough and has some decent agate hunting (even in the summer). I’d continue to Lincoln or Newport if you really want to play in the sand. I love the ocean in all it’s many varieties, so liked Fogarty Creek, although the rest of the family wasn’t too impressed. Instead of a wide stretch of white sand, it was pebbly and the ridge of trees went straight out to the water, a beautiful blending of forest and ocean.

There are no fireworks in Depoe Bay due to the sensitivity of the seabirds that nest here, but both Lincoln and Newport are a short drive away so you don’t have to worry about missing out.

ACTIVITIES

Whale Watching

Whale Watching off the cliffs of Depoe Bay.

Depoe Bay is the self-proclaimed whale watching capital of Oregon, and with about 10 species of whales that hang out off the coast, I’d agree. I could see them from my balcony, or just off the street.

In addition to the hours we spent on a bench or rock wall just watching these majestic creatures do their thing, we took a whale watching boat tour with Dockside Charters. The crew was knowledgeable and friendly, although we saw more whales from the bridge than we did out at sea. I love boats and being on the water, so I didn’t care. (Pretty sure I was the only one hollering “woohoo” when we hit big waves and got soaked since I was sitting as far front as possible.)

PRO TIP: If you’re used to boats on fresh water, the wide open sea is rougher than it looks. Dramamine up if you’re not sure how you’ll do, or stay in the rear of the boat.

The Clam Chowder Taste-Off of 2018

Okay, nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever come close to beating my Grandma’s homemade clam chowder. But, that doesn’t stop me from trying to find someone who comes close. On this trip I sampled clam chowder up and down the coast (thanks to everyone who sent me recommendations). I sampled more than 12, but narrowed it down to my Top 3, which I’m sharing with you. All three were perfectly seasoned and very different. (If I have to add salt or pepper it doesn’t make the list since it violates my “always trust the chef” rule.)

#3. The Horn Public House, Depoe Bay, Oregon

Overall good flavor, creative use of herbs, and enhanced by the incredible views.

#2. Gracie’s Sea Hag, Depoe Bay, Oregon

Their clam chowder was meaty (nothing worse than chowder that is potato heavy) and had good flavor. It had the added benefit of being walking distance from our condo.

#1. Clearwater Restaurant, Newport, Oregon

Their clam chowder was my favorite, and not just because I enjoyed it deckside on a sunny day. They add baby pink shrimp to their chowder, which makes it extra amazing. Purists can order it without the shrimp. This may be the closest to my Grandma’s I’ve ever found.

LINCOLN CITY

Lunch at Kyllos is a must. The seaside views are amazing, and the seafood is delicious. If you have an under-21 in your group you won’t be able to dine on the patio, but the views from inside are just fine. And there are plenty of non-seafood options for those that don’t eat it.

After lunch stroll down to the beach to walk off whatever deliciousness you just ate (crab-stuffed halibut in my case). The day we were there we collected sea glass and cool rocks, went treasure hunting in tidepools to see the anemone, and dodged the jellyfish and squid eggs that lined the beach (cool unless you step on them in your bare feet. Gag.)

Between October and May local glass artists hide their glass floats near the tide line for visitors to find.

And while I abhor shopping, the Lincoln Outlet Mall has a Northface outlet, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get some new gear for my fall trips.

NEWPORT

Newport Harbor on Independence Day.

This harbor town is full of shops and restaurants, and normally where our family has stayed when we’ve come to the coast. While I can live without the cheesy Bigfoot at Ripleys and the wax museum, I’m happy as a mermaid just hanging out, so while my SIL and nephew went touristing, I parked myself on the deck at Clearwater Restaurant for some pier side people watching.

PRO TIP: Dress for success! Much like my beloved Ireland and Scotland, the weather here changes from minute to minute. If you’re heading out for a whole day of fun, plan on walking shoes and beach shoes, layers to accommodate both the chilly morning and evening temperatures and the toasty afternoons. Don’t worry about your hair, it’s windy and salty and misty. (Beach hair, don’t care!) And don’t forget the sunscreen. Even on a cool cloudy day, you can get burned if you’re out long enough.

The Independence Day fireworks display lived up to the hype. In addition to the display, people take their boats out and shoot off their flare guns. I know, my European friends are shaking their heads and saying, “Americans and their guns,” right now. I’m just laughing and trying to make new friends with boats.

Newport does it right.

TILLAMOOK

The Creamery rebuilt their visitor’s center a while back, so if you have kiddos you may want to stop here for the self-tour and some fresh ice cream. Just be advised, on the weekend it’s more crowded than a WalMart with a Back-to-School sale.

Oceanside was my favorite part of the trip to Tillamook. Oceanside beach offers a long stretch of white sand, tidepools to explore, agate hunting, and just playing in the water. A few miles away you’ll find the Cape Meares Lighthouse. While you’re there, go check out the Octopus Tree. Oh, just don’t try to hug it. Hugging the Octopus Tree will get you on the naughty list. Whomp whomp.

POST SOUNDTRACK

The Lonesome Boatman (instrumental) The Fureys

I love this tune. My friends, Mark and Gary of For Folk Sake, play my favorite version. They introduced me to it one Friday night at McHugh’s Bar in Belfast.  Favorite tune by my favorite musicians in my favorite pub in my favorite city? Yes, please! (The countdown is on for my return to Ireland, and I can’t wait.)

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4 Days in San Diego (Home Sweet Old Home)

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A Wandering Widow Post

“Coming back is the thing that enables you to see how all the dots in your life are connected, how one decision leads you to another, how one twist of fate, good or bad, brings you to a door that later takes you to another door, which aided by several detours–long hallways and unforeseen stairwells–eventually puts you in the place you are now.”
Ann Patchett, What Now

A few days after I visited San Francisco, I decided to head out for some long overdue girl time. Hello, sunny San Diego!  I lived in this beautiful seaside city for eight years, and it felt a bit like coming home. You know being a tourist is never high on my list, but compromising with the bestie, who had never been to San Diego, made for some interesting outings. And it’s true, you can never really go home again. So much had changed since I lived there 14 years ago, that I was seeing most of my old stomping grounds for the first time. It’s amazing how much you can see and do in four short days.

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my San Diego photo album.

Day 1

Life looks better from the deck of a boat.

One of the things I love about San Diego is the ability to get a direct flight from Boise. We checked into the Hard Rock Hotel, right in the heart of the Gaslamp Quarter as soon as we landed. If you’re going to stay in the city, this is a perfect location. The rooms are fantastic, as are the service, wifi, and amenities. Where else can you check out a Fender guitar or an old school record player for your room? Drinks poolside at Float was the perfect way to start our rock star trip, with an amazing view, generous drinks, and a pool party.

Walking the Gaslamp Quarter is the best way to scope out the many dining options available. We had brunch at Rustic Root, home of the best Crab and Fried Green Tomato Eggs Benedict on the planet. Be sure to sit upstairs on the patio to enjoy the view of the farmer’s market below if you’re there on a weekend.

The big loop will take you to PETCO Park, the Convention Center, the harbor, and Sea Port Village. Need a break? Stop in at Roy’s for drinks on the patio and a view of the yachts.

While you’re there, be sure to make dinner reservations at Nobu, located on the ground floor of the Hard Rock Hotel. Nobu is famous for his Iron Chef role, but he is a mad genius when it comes to Asian Fusion cuisine. I had the best meal of my life there and, since I’m an international foodie, that is saying something. Everything I sampled was better than what I’d just got done declaring as the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. The combination of flavors was beautiful, and I fell in love. I would have married this meal and had its babies, it was THAT good. (My mouth is watering just thinking about it.)

Day 2

Coronado Island

Beach Day! We took the ferry to Coronado Island for less than $5, something locals never do. But what a view of the skyline from the water! After a 20 minute walk into town we reached the Hotel del Coronado. We spent the day at The Del, dining, drinking, and lounging on the beach. For those of you who like old movies, The Del is where they filmed Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe.

Pacific Beach

Sunset from the end of Crystal Pier in Pacific Beach.

That evening we continued our beach theme with a trek out to Pacific Beach (or PB for locals) to have dinner at Waterbar.  (PB is a short $20 Uber ride from the Gaslamp Quarter.) After our ocean front meal, we strolled to the end of Crystal Pier to watch the sun set over the pacific. It was a bit chilly, so bring a sweater if you decide to do this. (Do it!) We didn’t see the famous green flash, but I never saw it when I lived here either, and am convinced it’s something the weathermen made up to get us to pay attention to them.

After Ubering back to the Gaslamp Quarter we had a nightcap at Lou and Mickey’s, a beautiful old bar that’s been in the Gaslamp since the 40s. The white coated waiters and the dark hardwood bar transport you back in time, when life was a little more elegant. Definitely worth a stop for drinks, if not one of their famous steak dinners.

Day 3

Balboa Park

We started our morning with a stroll through Balboa Park to look at the historic buildings from the 1915 Panama-California Exposition. Unlike San Francisco who tore most of theirs down, San Diego’s World’s Fair buildings anchor the heart of Balboa Park.

If you’re already at the park, be sure to have lunch at the Prado, where you can dine al fresco next to bubbling fountains. A perfect break after climbing 152 stairs to the top of the tower at the Museum of Man (worth it for the panoramic views of the city).

Memories in Marble at Miramar National Cemetery

When I take time to think about it, my grief journey started years before I heard the word cancer, I just didn’t know it. We didn’t talk about those things back then. Before anything else, San Diego is a military town. The last time I was here I was married to a Marine Corps Drill Instructor. After 9/11 I saw lots of names scroll through the evening news casualty updates of kids that he’d trained. I saw names of friends, and saw my friends become widows. I became obsessed with that list. It wasn’t until I moved to Idaho, where that roster only mattered if the names were Idaho kids, that I was able to finally distance myself from it.

That Marine Corps DI and I stayed in touch over the years, eventually rebuilding the friendship our relationship was based upon. I was heartbroken to learn that he, too, became a casualty of his military service. The year before Dad and Dan died, Russ became a PTSD suicide victim. (Yeah, I lost the three men I loved most in the world all in a two-year time span. Don’t ever tell me I need to think positive. I do a pretty damned good job of staying positive, if I do say so myself.) And while I typically avoid cemeteries and graveyards, this was one I had to visit while I was in town.

When I lived in San Diego, this cemetery didn’t exist. It wasn’t dedicated until 2010. It was surreal to be sitting at his grave, hearing the fighter jets buzz overhead from the air station next door, our last duty station. Despite being new, there were already rows and rows of marble headstones. I wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would be. That afternoon I learned how soft and smooth marble is to the touch, and how sharp the names are when they are of someone you loved, and how loud your voice is when it echoes off marble rows.

Padres Game at Petco Park

As long as I’d lived in San Diego, I never saw the Padres play live. I kick myself for that now. I can only imagine what it would have been like to see the great Tony Gwynn running across home plate. But, there’s no time like the present. Petco Park had just finished construction when I moved away so it was fun to tour this amazing baseball stadium. Just like the song says, nights are better under neon or stadium lights.

Day 4

Old Town

With a late afternoon flight, we had time to take in a few more sights on our last day. From the Gaslamp, we took the green line on the red trolley to Old Town for $2.50. After touring San Diego’s version of Williamsburg, we enjoyed lunch and the best margaritas in San Diego. If you like ghosts, check out the Whaley house museum. Take photos of the dining room to see if you can see the dog under the dining table. (And then send me a photo since I couldn’t see it.)

Little Italy

On your way back to the Gaslamp, make a stop in Little Italy for a walk about before your ticket expires. Little Italy is home to fun cafes, restaurants and shops. Back when I lived in SD, the Trolley only had one line, so it was cool to see how much it’s grown. It’s clean, cheap, and easy to use.

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I Left My Heart in San Francisco

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A Wandering Widow Post

“Never stop wandering into wonder.”
Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

After a six week break in Idaho, I was antsy to get back on the road. A short hop over to San Francisco for a few days was just what the travel doctor ordered! The weather was absolutely perfect; sunny and warm, and unusual for this time of year.

This was my first visit to San Francisco without Dan, and thanks to family and friends I had a blast rediscovering one of my favorite cities from a new angle. What’s your favorite backyard trip?

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my San Francisco photo album.

NOB HILL PRINCESS

My friend called it a guest room. I called it a princess suite in a 5-star resort. Either way, I was living the pampered life in Nob Hill, with rooftop views to die for. You can easily find Airbnbs for rent in the area if you don’t want to deal with San Francisco’s current hotel bed bug problem. From Nob Hill, I had easy access to The Presidio, Crissy’s Field, Union Square, and the SF Jazz Center. And while you need to be with a member, fancy hats, champagne cocktails, and a group of incredible women made lunch at the Metropolitan Club a highlight of my visit.

CRISSY’S FIELD

This beautiful section of the San Francisco Bay Walk Trail is easy to get to and has nice even paths to walk along the water’s edge. Oh, and did I mention the view? That bridge, cloaked in fog, is stunning in any weather but glorious in the full sun. Park near the yacht club and walk toward The Warming Hut at the base of the bridge for delicious coffee, pastries, and artsy San Francisco souvenirs.

SF JAZZ FESTIVAL

Since the Jazz Festival was going on while I was there, I managed to get a ticket to see Brian Blade & The Fellowship at Miner Auditorium. SF Jazz is a cool place, and the first building in the United States constructed specifically for jazz performances. Every seat makes you feel like you are up close and personal with the musicians.

I love music of any kind, but jazz always reminds me of my friend Steve, who introduced me to it fifteen years ago when we were both working in Japan. As many concerts and music clubs as I’ve visited in my travels, this was my first jazz concert outside of New Orleans, an embarrassingly long time ago. I won’t ever wait that long again.

BEACH BLANKET BABYLON

My friends suggested Beach Blanket Babylon, and I’m so glad they did! This 90-minute musical theater + New Yorker cartoon mashup had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. (I haven’t laughed that hard since I was in Amstelveen!) The vocal talent, costumes, satire, and hilarity made it one of my favorite stage performances to date. It’s updated regularly, so worth seeing again.

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The Wandering Widow Finds a Family

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I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching–they are your family.
Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

A Wondering Widow Post

Those of you who have been following along for a while know that one of the biggest shocks to my system, after losing Dan, was going from a full house to being on my own.

Traveling alone wasn’t always easy, but it was safe. Being alone meant I didn’t have to worry about the pain that comes when your family suddenly disappears. It meant not having to say good-bye.

Imagine my surprise when I started to live with other humans again and got the bitch slap realization that I’d missed it. I like to focus on the positive, and not dwell on what I’ve lost, so the acknowledgment that I missed being part of a family caught me off guard. I was suddenly once again vulnerable to having that ripped away from me.

But as the great Gretzy wisely pointed out, we miss 100% of the shots we don’t take. So, thanks to the generosity of my family and friends who share their homes with me while I travel, I’m giving it a go. Here’s what I’ve missed most about being part of a family:

HUGS

My sweet friends, Cheryl and Nan, are world class huggers. Growing up Japanese, this wasn’t a thing. In fact, when I moved to Idaho (a state full of huggers), I had to adjust my bubble to tolerate all the hugging so I wouldn’t be rude. I trained myself to stop backing up when I saw huggers approaching, and learned quickly not to allow myself to get stuck in a corner where I couldn’t escape.

One day I realized I actually missed the hugging and the human contact. (I’ve previously written about the sensory deprivation that comes with widowhood). Lisa Bain, a converted hugger? Who would’ve thunk it?

And while the goodbye hugs were bittersweet as I was leaving my new family behind in Europe, I couldn’t wait for those big squeezy hugs from the people I loved when I got home.

TOGETHERNESS

Love my Romanian cousins!

My cousins and new friends blessed me with some family time while I was in Europe. To have people scoop me up and absorb me into their family’s lives was an incredible gift. It had been so long I’d forgotten what it felt like to be part of boisterous family dinners, snuggling up on the couch watching movies with a young one, or laughing with someone while cooking. Hanging out with parents, kids, boyfriends, cats, and everyone in between, and sharing a roof with other humans, felt both foreign and familiar. And it felt damned good.

After years struggling to balance career, family, volunteer work, and caregiver responsibilities, I’ve spent the last year taking care of myself; a necessary part of my grief recovery journey. But I’d forgotten how much I love taking care of other people too. Who knew how much you could miss cooking, gardening, and even laundry when it’s for people you care about.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD MORNING

Love notes are another bonus to living with other humans.

I’m still new to living with other humans. Not gonna lie, it was weird and strangely alien at first. Think about other people’s schedules and their presence? I’m lucky to have had very easy roommates to help break me back in, so I got used to it pretty quickly.

I’d forgotten how beautiful it is to have someone remember how you like your coffee and have it waiting for you. Hearing the door open and, Hey, I’m home, brings a smile to my face every time. Yeah, something as simple and Good Night and Good Morning are missed beyond measure when you’re suddenly thrust into widowhood.

So as I couch surf my way through the US this summer, I have a message for my new roomies. Whether we’re family by law, tradition, or heart, “Hey. I’m back. And damn I’ve missed you. Now, what can I cook for you?”

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Post Soundtrack

Family Time (Ziggy Marley)

Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song
Its family time its family time its family time
Hi how you doing
Hi how you been

Its really good to know we still got this thing
When we get together its so much fun
Everyone’s happy no ones gotta run
Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song

Its family time its family time its family time
Now the world gets busy but its not hard to see
Family means the most to me
I’m so happy we found this time
We can all share whats on our minds
Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song

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The Wandering Widow’s Top 10 European Cities

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A Wandering Widow Post

They’re all my favorites.

You know how parents aren’t supposed to have a favorite kid? That’s how I feel everytime someone asks me to rank the places I’ve visited. I’ve loved them all for different reasons, and most of them have ended up on my “come back and visit again” list. They all have their own beauty and magic, and their own places in my heart.

But the question won’t leave me alone. So while I really do love them all, here are my Top 10 favorites in order.

(To the cities and towns that didn’t make this list, Mama still loves you.)

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

 

10. Vienna, Austria.
Motto: Paris ain’t got nothin’ on us. *struts by in full bling*

My buddy, an expat living in Vienna, described it to me as having the efficiency of the Germans, the beauty and art of Paris (without the snobbery), the warmth and fun of Italy, and the diversity that comes from being a UN city. Vienna is Disney Fairytale beautiful, with more art, architecture, and music than any one place I’ve ever visited (sorry Rome and Paris, even more than you).

I managed to visit twice while I was abroad, and I will always treasure it for giving me more moments that took my breath away than any other place in Europe. Seeing Klimt’s The Kiss in person, my first opera and an orchestra performance so beautiful it brought me to tears are just a few that come to mind.

9. Killarney, Ireland.
Motto: We love Americans almost as much as we love being Irish.

Killarney and I have a special bond due to my experiences there last April. Beyond the beautiful friendships I’ve made there, Killarney National Park is one of my favorite nature places on the planet. No visit to Ireland will EVER be complete without a stop at Murphy’s Whiskey Bar or a hike up to Torc Waterfall or around the lake. It also makes a perfect home base to visit the Cliffs of Mohr, the Dingle Peninsula, and the Skellig Islands. It’s got so much natural beauty and really cool people that every time I visit I start looking at real estate so that I have an excuse to stay.

8. Isle of Skye, Scotland.
Motto: We hope you paint or write poetry because we’re even better than Pinterest and Instagram make us look.

This place is so ruggedly beautiful it’s easy to see why artists from all over the world congregate here. It’s the place I wish I could paint or write poetry about, and home to the most beautiful hiking I’ve ever done. I can’t wait to go back, and just need to time it to avoid midge and peak-tourist season!

Thanks to social media it’s a trendy destination, so be prepared for hordes of rookie campers/hikers in the summer, who are unfortunately pretty messy. (FYI if I catch you littering here I will whip out my mom card and make you clean it up.) If you’re going and need a hiking buddy, call me.

7. Tuscany, Italy.
Motto: We don’t even need the Tuscan sun to look this good. We’ve got hot flirtatious men, wine, and food.

Holy Under the Tuscan Sun Batman, this place is just like the movie. Idyllic and peaceful with life-altering gelato, pasta, and wine that are indescribably delicious. And don’t even get me started on the balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Or the olives. Did I mention the gelato? I could die fat and happy here, but won’t because Italy is an incredibly expensive place to live full time.

But Mamma Mia the men live up to their reputations. Ladies, if you need to feel beautiful, Italy is the place to be.

6. Montserrat, Spain.
Motto: The real Montserrat mystique is in Spain.

Stunning. Mesmerizing. Inspiring. I could keep going, but it sounds cliche. Just outside of Barcelona, this old mountaintop monastery town supposedly sits on ley lines and is the seat of ancient Catalan power. Whatever it may be, it is both spiritual and beautiful. I visited twice while I was there, and am working on figuring out the best time to go back to stay at the monastery and hike the surrounding mountains. The first sunrise I saw over the valley below took my breath away, and I can’t stop thinking about going back.

5. Bucharest, Romania.
Motto: We eat meat with a side of meat, and make spirits as strong and fun as we are.

Like many cities in transformation, Bucharest has a great vibe. Everything is affordable (from a visitor’s perspective), and it offers the best of modern and historic all in one, with a few remnants of communism and a dictator thrown in for flavor. From the modern Vegas-style spas, malls, and clubs, to the decrepit old buildings still waiting for restoration, Bucharest is a study in contrasts and will always hold a special place in my heart. Rich in history and culture, you can also find diverse dining and music options everywhere. I even found one of my favorite Grafton Street buskers here!

But, hands down, my favorite thing about Bucharest is my Ikeda-Nicolau family. I’d been on the road so long I’d forgotten what it felt like to be part of a family, and this bunch took me under their wing, sharing their lives, home, country, and friends with me.

4. Edinburgh, Scotland.
Motto: We invented hipster beards and have unicorns. Watchu got?

Land of kilts, cute knees, and beards Edinburgh has it all: the food, the pubs, the music, hiking, beaches, history, and the people. I could live here in a nano-second and never get bored. And super easy transit means I’d never have to drive. And yes, the national animal of Scotland is the unicorn. A freaking unicorn!

3. Amstelveen, The Netherlands.
Motto: We don’t need marijuana to be happy, we have flowers and cheese and are really smart.

Flowers for days! Being there during the flower festival was like Christmas for this gardener and flower child. Home to art and history and as much time on the water as you could want, you can’t go wrong. Amstelveen is home to the Amsterdam Forest, one of my favorite happy places on this planet. I sometimes still dream I’m on one of my daily walks and can almost breathe in the sweet smell of the woods and hear the birds singing. I swear that place is magic.

 

 

2. Oban, Scotland.
Motto: We make gorgeous single malt whisky, brawny men, and ocean sunsets. ‘Nuff said.

I love it for the ocean, the woods, the people, the seafood and the single malt. This small western Scottish town is the gateway to the Hebrides (I’m in love with the islands!) and home to one of my favorite distilleries. With a few more sweaters and plaid shirts, I could live here full time, happy as a coldwater clam.

1. Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Motto: Once you go Belfast craic you’ll never go back.

I know, you’re all stunned that Belfast is my favorite child. After all, I only managed to visit three times during my time abroad. If it weren’t for my UK visa expiring, I would have stayed even longer, but my next visit is in the books, which helps with my withdrawal symptoms.

It has everything except the sunshine, but a Belfast with perfect weather wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the world. And while I want all of you to visit, I also don’t want you to price me out of the real estate market. It’s got a great location to access the rest of Ireland and the UK and is still reasonably affordable. And although international flights through Belfast are sorely lacking, it’s only two hours (an easy train or bus ride) from Dublin International Airport.

For those who still have old ideas about Belfast, it’s not the place you used to see on the television news. It’s incredibly vibrant and offers everything you could want. Still not sure? I will personally show you around my favorite city in Europe if you’re willing to give it a shot. A shot of my favorite Irish single malt that is. (And if that doesn’t work for you I’ll get you connected with Northern Ireland’s best tour guide, my friend Will, who does this for a living.)

The people, the music, and the craic will bring me back every single time. I still dream about it, sometimes waking up thinking I’m there. I can’t get enough, and it will always be the place my heart jumps to on Friday nights when I should be at McHughs with my Belfast Bestie, any time I hear an Irish song, and every time I think of “going home.”

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