The Real Lisa Bain

The Wandering Widow

Travel

How To Table For One W Style

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A Coping With Grief Post

A fellow W and I were chatting recently about how tough it can be to get used to doing things on our own. Alone. Things like dining out, going to movies, life activities in general, are all designed to be completed in pairs or groups. As someone who has traveled the globe solo, and has a few W years under my belt, I’ve learned a few coping mechanisms to the occasional awkwardness that comes from leaving my cave all by my lonesome.

Look good-Feel good

This motto doesn’t just work for cancer patients, it works for the bereaved who are heading out for a Table for One experience. Not gonna lie, I’ve had my share of ballcap-ponytail-no make-up wearing-hoodie kinda days, but if you’re already hesitant about going out alone you’ll feel more confident if you’ve at least showered and combed your hair.

Make a reservation

If you’re going to treat yourself to a nice meal, reserving a table can help you get better service. (I’ve found this to be especially true in Europe, where women dining alone are often confused with prostitutes. WTF Europe!) Where was I? Oh yes, reserve a table. I always ask for the best table in the house (nobody puts Baby in a corner!), especially if there is a view. Tell them it’s a special occasion, dress for the experience and tip well.

Own It

Table For One?

Sister, walk in like you own the place, head held high. Easier said than done, I know. I keep threatening to go out in a black dress and veil, but so far that black-belt level of widow snark hasn’t happened yet. I promise to get photos if it does.

And the Oscar Goes To…

One way of getting over the fear of Table For One is trying on a different persona for the company. Here are my three favorites.

1. Writer

I admit this isn’t my most creative option since I am a writer. It’s still fun. I create backstories for the people around me. It keeps me from staring at my phone the whole time. Coffee shops, pubs, restaurants, you name it. If you’ve been one of the people to catch me watching you, oopsie. I promise I’m not a stalker, just a writer. The Scots and the Dutch are my favorites for this pastime, but it works universally. Who knows? You may have ended up in one of my stories. And it doesn’t even matter if I don’t speak your language, I’ll just make up an interesting translation to whatever conversation you may be having.

2. Jane Goodall

In this case, I’m studying you. I use this a lot when I’m traveling. I find the way people do things fascinating. The hundreds of nuances that make up the differences (and similarities) between us are all carefully cataloged for later study. What do I mean? How men and women interact. Or how the young speak to the old. How you pour your coffee, the colors and fashion you wear, and whether or not you smile easily or make eye contact with me. National Geographic hasn’t called me to report for them yet, but I’m ready just in case.

3. International Woman of Mystery

Lisa Bain, International Woman of Mystery. (p/c Erin Blackwell)

This one makes me laugh the most, so it should come as no surprise it’s my favorite. It can sometimes be awkward to walk into a restaurant alone, especially if you are the only solo in a sea of couples. Increase the awkward factor by 1000 when it’s a fine dining establishment.

Here’s where I break bad with my mad theater skills (my Drama 101 professor would be so proud), and I suddenly become Lisa Bain, International Woman of Mystery. Move over Austin Powers. I don’t need an ascot; I have an LBD and heels. It’s easier to get over feeling uncomfortable if you tell yourself everyone is trying to figure out if they should know who you are, and wishing they were as cool and mysterious and probably hanging out with rock stars and astronauts on the weekends, or whatever International Women of Mystery do with their free time.

Laughter is the best medicine

I figure if I’m going to go out alone, I may as well laugh and have fun with it. And you know what? I’ve cried more than enough tears for this lifetime, so take it from me, laughing is the better option. Fortunately, I find myself hilarious, so it’s not difficult. You can laugh too. At me. With me. It really doesn’t matter. Just laugh.

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

POST SOUNDTRACK

Mysterious Woman, Marc Roberts (lyrics John Farry)

Mysterious woman
I saw you at an airport
Ticket in your hand
I got a feeling in my heart
I didn’t understand

Something in the way you were
Something foreign in your eyes
Made me wish that I could share
One moment of your life

Mysterious woman
I wonder, did you see
The kind of spell you put on me?
Mysterious woman
I wish I could find the key
To the kind of spell you put on me

The room was full of faces
But you stood out from the crowd
People going places
Far away beyond the clouds
Were you from the streets of Paris
Or the coast of Italy?
Or were you from as far away
As the gulf of Araby?

Mysterious woman
I wonder, did you see
The kind of spell you put on me?
Mysterious woman
I wish I could find the key
To the kind of spell you put on me

Did I imagine you smiled
Or were my thoughts going wild?

Suddenly you were going
The speaker called your plane
There was no way of knowing
If I’d ever see you again

But this brief, so brief encounter
Will always stay with me
I will always treasure
The bittersweet memory

Mysterious woman
I wonder, did you see
The kind of spell you put on me?
Mysterious woman
It’ll always be a mystery
The kind of spell you put on me

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We to Me: Reclaiming My Favorite Places (A Week on the Oregon Coast)

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I want to reclaim who I am.
~Elizabeth Edwards

A Wandering Widow Post

When Dan first died, my hospice chaplain gave me some advice that took awhile for me to understand. He told me that avoiding the places that were important to WE, made Dan disappear. Jay gently suggested that it would be important for ME to reclaim them as my own. Being me, I did the exact opposite. I sold our dream home, moved to a part of town Dan hated, quit watching our favorite football team (Sorry Boise State Broncos), and avoided our favorite restaurants and activities. It was as if anything familiar made the oppressive weight of his loss that much more painful.

Fast forward two years, and I finally get what Chaplain Jay was talking about. By avoiding anything that was WE, I was also shutting down anything that was ME. Hey, I’m a slow learner sometimes, but I do pay attention.

Reclaiming

Sunset over Depoe Bay

So there I sat, with a cup of coffee, watching whales crest outside my balcony in Depoe Bay, reclaiming one of my favorite places: the Oregon Coast. I was lucky enough to be with two of my favorite people, who made the trip with us every time, even after WE became ME.

The only times I’d ever been on the Oregon Coast were with Dan, and they were after the word CANCER had entered our lives. We were on a time crunch to make as many memories as we could. Since he spent summers there as a kid it was important to him that he share it with me. Last year was the last time we came together. Only that time what was left of him was stashed in a Maker’s Mark bottle and we scattered him at a waterfall.

This time it was different. Just like reclaiming Boise for my own, this week on the coast was about rediscovering the beauty and happiness of this national treasure. No more Dan shaped voids, just the occasional pangs of memories and lots of laughs channeling his funny sayings and sometimes surly behavior.

Cheers to all my W Sisters taking the often painful steps of reclaiming the joys in life.

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my Oregon Coast Road Trip photos.

THE WAY THERE

It’s an almost nine-hour drive to Depoe Bay from Boise. When we visited before, we broke that up into multiple days since Dan was too ill to be in the car that long. I’d forgotten how much I hate long car drives, but we did manage to stop at every scenic view lookout along the way (my sister-in-law is a saint). And since you have to pass through Hood River (Dan’s childhood summer haunt), we made sure to stop at Mike’s Ice Cream for their famous huckleberry shakes. This is one of our family favorites, and when we stay in Hood River it’s a daily stop. (Cash only for those of you who like to plan ahead).

DEPOE BAY

Yaquina Head Lighthouse.

We chose to make Depoe Bay our home base for the week of Independence Day. This is the whale watching capital of Oregon and a quiet coastal town. We stayed at an Airbnb condo with an ocean view, and a short five-minute walk to food, shops, and whale watching off the cliffs. Our first night we were treated to one of the most amazing sunsets I’ve ever witnessed and the sight of whales breaking the surface of the ocean. I could have stayed on that cliffside forever.

Dinner at Horn Public House got us out of the wind, without sacrificing our sunset and whale watching views. We ate here several times and were impressed with the service and the food, although the last hour of the evening they go to a very limited menu. Definitely try their house brewed beers before you leave. My favorite was the Little Whale Cream Ale, but I recommend trying them all.

There isn’t a lot of great beach access in Depoe Bay, although Fogarty Creek Park is pretty enough and has some decent agate hunting (even in the summer). I’d continue to Lincoln or Newport if you really want to play in the sand. I love the ocean in all it’s many varieties, so liked Fogarty Creek, although the rest of the family wasn’t too impressed. Instead of a wide stretch of white sand, it was pebbly and the ridge of trees went straight out to the water, a beautiful blending of forest and ocean.

There are no fireworks in Depoe Bay due to the sensitivity of the seabirds that nest here, but both Lincoln and Newport are a short drive away so you don’t have to worry about missing out.

ACTIVITIES

Whale Watching

Whale Watching off the cliffs of Depoe Bay.

Depoe Bay is the self-proclaimed whale watching capital of Oregon, and with about 10 species of whales that hang out off the coast, I’d agree. I could see them from my balcony, or just off the street.

In addition to the hours we spent on a bench or rock wall just watching these majestic creatures do their thing, we took a whale watching boat tour with Dockside Charters. The crew was knowledgeable and friendly, although we saw more whales from the bridge than we did out at sea. I love boats and being on the water, so I didn’t care. (Pretty sure I was the only one hollering “woohoo” when we hit big waves and got soaked since I was sitting as far front as possible.)

PRO TIP: If you’re used to boats on fresh water, the wide open sea is rougher than it looks. Dramamine up if you’re not sure how you’ll do, or stay in the rear of the boat.

The Clam Chowder Taste-Off of 2018

Okay, nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever come close to beating my Grandma’s homemade clam chowder. But, that doesn’t stop me from trying to find someone who comes close. On this trip I sampled clam chowder up and down the coast (thanks to everyone who sent me recommendations). I sampled more than 12, but narrowed it down to my Top 3, which I’m sharing with you. All three were perfectly seasoned and very different. (If I have to add salt or pepper it doesn’t make the list since it violates my “always trust the chef” rule.)

#3. The Horn Public House, Depoe Bay, Oregon

Overall good flavor, creative use of herbs, and enhanced by the incredible views.

#2. Gracie’s Sea Hag, Depoe Bay, Oregon

Their clam chowder was meaty (nothing worse than chowder that is potato heavy) and had good flavor. It had the added benefit of being walking distance from our condo.

#1. Clearwater Restaurant, Newport, Oregon

Their clam chowder was my favorite, and not just because I enjoyed it deckside on a sunny day. They add baby pink shrimp to their chowder, which makes it extra amazing. Purists can order it without the shrimp. This may be the closest to my Grandma’s I’ve ever found.

LINCOLN CITY

Lunch at Kyllos is a must. The seaside views are amazing, and the seafood is delicious. If you have an under-21 in your group you won’t be able to dine on the patio, but the views from inside are just fine. And there are plenty of non-seafood options for those that don’t eat it.

After lunch stroll down to the beach to walk off whatever deliciousness you just ate (crab-stuffed halibut in my case). The day we were there we collected sea glass and cool rocks, went treasure hunting in tidepools to see the anemone, and dodged the jellyfish and squid eggs that lined the beach (cool unless you step on them in your bare feet. Gag.)

Between October and May local glass artists hide their glass floats near the tide line for visitors to find.

And while I abhor shopping, the Lincoln Outlet Mall has a Northface outlet, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get some new gear for my fall trips.

NEWPORT

Newport Harbor on Independence Day.

This harbor town is full of shops and restaurants, and normally where our family has stayed when we’ve come to the coast. While I can live without the cheesy Bigfoot at Ripleys and the wax museum, I’m happy as a mermaid just hanging out, so while my SIL and nephew went touristing, I parked myself on the deck at Clearwater Restaurant for some pier side people watching.

PRO TIP: Dress for success! Much like my beloved Ireland and Scotland, the weather here changes from minute to minute. If you’re heading out for a whole day of fun, plan on walking shoes and beach shoes, layers to accommodate both the chilly morning and evening temperatures and the toasty afternoons. Don’t worry about your hair, it’s windy and salty and misty. (Beach hair, don’t care!) And don’t forget the sunscreen. Even on a cool cloudy day, you can get burned if you’re out long enough.

The Independence Day fireworks display lived up to the hype. In addition to the display, people take their boats out and shoot off their flare guns. I know, my European friends are shaking their heads and saying, “Americans and their guns,” right now. I’m just laughing and trying to make new friends with boats.

Newport does it right.

TILLAMOOK

The Creamery rebuilt their visitor’s center a while back, so if you have kiddos you may want to stop here for the self-tour and some fresh ice cream. Just be advised, on the weekend it’s more crowded than a WalMart with a Back-to-School sale.

Oceanside was my favorite part of the trip to Tillamook. Oceanside beach offers a long stretch of white sand, tidepools to explore, agate hunting, and just playing in the water. A few miles away you’ll find the Cape Meares Lighthouse. While you’re there, go check out the Octopus Tree. Oh, just don’t try to hug it. Hugging the Octopus Tree will get you on the naughty list. Whomp whomp.

POST SOUNDTRACK

The Lonesome Boatman (instrumental) The Fureys

I love this tune. My friends, Mark and Gary of For Folk Sake, play my favorite version. They introduced me to it one Friday night at McHugh’s Bar in Belfast.  Favorite tune by my favorite musicians in my favorite pub in my favorite city? Yes, please! (The countdown is on for my return to Ireland, and I can’t wait.)

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4 Days in San Diego (Home Sweet Old Home)

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A Wandering Widow Post

“Coming back is the thing that enables you to see how all the dots in your life are connected, how one decision leads you to another, how one twist of fate, good or bad, brings you to a door that later takes you to another door, which aided by several detours–long hallways and unforeseen stairwells–eventually puts you in the place you are now.”
Ann Patchett, What Now

A few days after I visited San Francisco, I decided to head out for some long overdue girl time. Hello, sunny San Diego!  I lived in this beautiful seaside city for eight years, and it felt a bit like coming home. You know being a tourist is never high on my list, but compromising with the bestie, who had never been to San Diego, made for some interesting outings. And it’s true, you can never really go home again. So much had changed since I lived there 14 years ago, that I was seeing most of my old stomping grounds for the first time. It’s amazing how much you can see and do in four short days.

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my San Diego photo album.

Day 1

Life looks better from the deck of a boat.

One of the things I love about San Diego is the ability to get a direct flight from Boise. We checked into the Hard Rock Hotel, right in the heart of the Gaslamp Quarter as soon as we landed. If you’re going to stay in the city, this is a perfect location. The rooms are fantastic, as are the service, wifi, and amenities. Where else can you check out a Fender guitar or an old school record player for your room? Drinks poolside at Float was the perfect way to start our rock star trip, with an amazing view, generous drinks, and a pool party.

Walking the Gaslamp Quarter is the best way to scope out the many dining options available. We had brunch at Rustic Root, home of the best Crab and Fried Green Tomato Eggs Benedict on the planet. Be sure to sit upstairs on the patio to enjoy the view of the farmer’s market below if you’re there on a weekend.

The big loop will take you to PETCO Park, the Convention Center, the harbor, and Sea Port Village. Need a break? Stop in at Roy’s for drinks on the patio and a view of the yachts.

While you’re there, be sure to make dinner reservations at Nobu, located on the ground floor of the Hard Rock Hotel. Nobu is famous for his Iron Chef role, but he is a mad genius when it comes to Asian Fusion cuisine. I had the best meal of my life there and, since I’m an international foodie, that is saying something. Everything I sampled was better than what I’d just got done declaring as the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. The combination of flavors was beautiful, and I fell in love. I would have married this meal and had its babies, it was THAT good. (My mouth is watering just thinking about it.)

Day 2

Coronado Island

Beach Day! We took the ferry to Coronado Island for less than $5, something locals never do. But what a view of the skyline from the water! After a 20 minute walk into town we reached the Hotel del Coronado. We spent the day at The Del, dining, drinking, and lounging on the beach. For those of you who like old movies, The Del is where they filmed Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe.

Pacific Beach

Sunset from the end of Crystal Pier in Pacific Beach.

That evening we continued our beach theme with a trek out to Pacific Beach (or PB for locals) to have dinner at Waterbar.  (PB is a short $20 Uber ride from the Gaslamp Quarter.) After our ocean front meal, we strolled to the end of Crystal Pier to watch the sun set over the pacific. It was a bit chilly, so bring a sweater if you decide to do this. (Do it!) We didn’t see the famous green flash, but I never saw it when I lived here either, and am convinced it’s something the weathermen made up to get us to pay attention to them.

After Ubering back to the Gaslamp Quarter we had a nightcap at Lou and Mickey’s, a beautiful old bar that’s been in the Gaslamp since the 40s. The white coated waiters and the dark hardwood bar transport you back in time, when life was a little more elegant. Definitely worth a stop for drinks, if not one of their famous steak dinners.

Day 3

Balboa Park

We started our morning with a stroll through Balboa Park to look at the historic buildings from the 1915 Panama-California Exposition. Unlike San Francisco who tore most of theirs down, San Diego’s World’s Fair buildings anchor the heart of Balboa Park.

If you’re already at the park, be sure to have lunch at the Prado, where you can dine al fresco next to bubbling fountains. A perfect break after climbing 152 stairs to the top of the tower at the Museum of Man (worth it for the panoramic views of the city).

Memories in Marble at Miramar National Cemetery

When I take time to think about it, my grief journey started years before I heard the word cancer, I just didn’t know it. We didn’t talk about those things back then. Before anything else, San Diego is a military town. The last time I was here I was married to a Marine Corps Drill Instructor. After 9/11 I saw lots of names scroll through the evening news casualty updates of kids that he’d trained. I saw names of friends, and saw my friends become widows. I became obsessed with that list. It wasn’t until I moved to Idaho, where that roster only mattered if the names were Idaho kids, that I was able to finally distance myself from it.

That Marine Corps DI and I stayed in touch over the years, eventually rebuilding the friendship our relationship was based upon. I was heartbroken to learn that he, too, became a casualty of his military service. The year before Dad and Dan died, Russ became a PTSD suicide victim. (Yeah, I lost the three men I loved most in the world all in a two-year time span. Don’t ever tell me I need to think positive. I do a pretty damned good job of staying positive, if I do say so myself.) And while I typically avoid cemeteries and graveyards, this was one I had to visit while I was in town.

When I lived in San Diego, this cemetery didn’t exist. It wasn’t dedicated until 2010. It was surreal to be sitting at his grave, hearing the fighter jets buzz overhead from the air station next door, our last duty station. Despite being new, there were already rows and rows of marble headstones. I wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would be. That afternoon I learned how soft and smooth marble is to the touch, and how sharp the names are when they are of someone you loved, and how loud your voice is when it echoes off marble rows.

Padres Game at Petco Park

As long as I’d lived in San Diego, I never saw the Padres play live. I kick myself for that now. I can only imagine what it would have been like to see the great Tony Gwynn running across home plate. But, there’s no time like the present. Petco Park had just finished construction when I moved away so it was fun to tour this amazing baseball stadium. Just like the song says, nights are better under neon or stadium lights.

Day 4

Old Town

With a late afternoon flight, we had time to take in a few more sights on our last day. From the Gaslamp, we took the green line on the red trolley to Old Town for $2.50. After touring San Diego’s version of Williamsburg, we enjoyed lunch and the best margaritas in San Diego. If you like ghosts, check out the Whaley house museum. Take photos of the dining room to see if you can see the dog under the dining table. (And then send me a photo since I couldn’t see it.)

Little Italy

On your way back to the Gaslamp, make a stop in Little Italy for a walk about before your ticket expires. Little Italy is home to fun cafes, restaurants and shops. Back when I lived in SD, the Trolley only had one line, so it was cool to see how much it’s grown. It’s clean, cheap, and easy to use.

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I Left My Heart in San Francisco

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A Wandering Widow Post

“Never stop wandering into wonder.”
Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

After a six week break in Idaho, I was antsy to get back on the road. A short hop over to San Francisco for a few days was just what the travel doctor ordered! The weather was absolutely perfect; sunny and warm, and unusual for this time of year.

This was my first visit to San Francisco without Dan, and thanks to family and friends I had a blast rediscovering one of my favorite cities from a new angle. What’s your favorite backyard trip?

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Click here for my San Francisco photo album.

NOB HILL PRINCESS

My friend called it a guest room. I called it a princess suite in a 5-star resort. Either way, I was living the pampered life in Nob Hill, with rooftop views to die for. You can easily find Airbnbs for rent in the area if you don’t want to deal with San Francisco’s current hotel bed bug problem. From Nob Hill, I had easy access to The Presidio, Crissy’s Field, Union Square, and the SF Jazz Center. And while you need to be with a member, fancy hats, champagne cocktails, and a group of incredible women made lunch at the Metropolitan Club a highlight of my visit.

CRISSY’S FIELD

This beautiful section of the San Francisco Bay Walk Trail is easy to get to and has nice even paths to walk along the water’s edge. Oh, and did I mention the view? That bridge, cloaked in fog, is stunning in any weather but glorious in the full sun. Park near the yacht club and walk toward The Warming Hut at the base of the bridge for delicious coffee, pastries, and artsy San Francisco souvenirs.

SF JAZZ FESTIVAL

Since the Jazz Festival was going on while I was there, I managed to get a ticket to see Brian Blade & The Fellowship at Miner Auditorium. SF Jazz is a cool place, and the first building in the United States constructed specifically for jazz performances. Every seat makes you feel like you are up close and personal with the musicians.

I love music of any kind, but jazz always reminds me of my friend Steve, who introduced me to it fifteen years ago when we were both working in Japan. As many concerts and music clubs as I’ve visited in my travels, this was my first jazz concert outside of New Orleans, an embarrassingly long time ago. I won’t ever wait that long again.

BEACH BLANKET BABYLON

My friends suggested Beach Blanket Babylon, and I’m so glad they did! This 90-minute musical theater + New Yorker cartoon mashup had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. (I haven’t laughed that hard since I was in Amstelveen!) The vocal talent, costumes, satire, and hilarity made it one of my favorite stage performances to date. It’s updated regularly, so worth seeing again.

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The Wandering Widow Finds a Family

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I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching–they are your family.
Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

A Wondering Widow Post

Those of you who have been following along for a while know that one of the biggest shocks to my system, after losing Dan, was going from a full house to being on my own.

Traveling alone wasn’t always easy, but it was safe. Being alone meant I didn’t have to worry about the pain that comes when your family suddenly disappears. It meant not having to say good-bye.

Imagine my surprise when I started to live with other humans again and got the bitch slap realization that I’d missed it. I like to focus on the positive, and not dwell on what I’ve lost, so the acknowledgment that I missed being part of a family caught me off guard. I was suddenly once again vulnerable to having that ripped away from me.

But as the great Gretzy wisely pointed out, we miss 100% of the shots we don’t take. So, thanks to the generosity of my family and friends who share their homes with me while I travel, I’m giving it a go. Here’s what I’ve missed most about being part of a family:

HUGS

My sweet friends, Cheryl and Nan, are world class huggers. Growing up Japanese, this wasn’t a thing. In fact, when I moved to Idaho (a state full of huggers), I had to adjust my bubble to tolerate all the hugging so I wouldn’t be rude. I trained myself to stop backing up when I saw huggers approaching, and learned quickly not to allow myself to get stuck in a corner where I couldn’t escape.

One day I realized I actually missed the hugging and the human contact. (I’ve previously written about the sensory deprivation that comes with widowhood). Lisa Bain, a converted hugger? Who would’ve thunk it?

And while the goodbye hugs were bittersweet as I was leaving my new family behind in Europe, I couldn’t wait for those big squeezy hugs from the people I loved when I got home.

TOGETHERNESS

Love my Romanian cousins!

My cousins and new friends blessed me with some family time while I was in Europe. To have people scoop me up and absorb me into their family’s lives was an incredible gift. It had been so long I’d forgotten what it felt like to be part of boisterous family dinners, snuggling up on the couch watching movies with a young one, or laughing with someone while cooking. Hanging out with parents, kids, boyfriends, cats, and everyone in between, and sharing a roof with other humans, felt both foreign and familiar. And it felt damned good.

After years struggling to balance career, family, volunteer work, and caregiver responsibilities, I’ve spent the last year taking care of myself; a necessary part of my grief recovery journey. But I’d forgotten how much I love taking care of other people too. Who knew how much you could miss cooking, gardening, and even laundry when it’s for people you care about.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD MORNING

Love notes are another bonus to living with other humans.

I’m still new to living with other humans. Not gonna lie, it was weird and strangely alien at first. Think about other people’s schedules and their presence? I’m lucky to have had very easy roommates to help break me back in, so I got used to it pretty quickly.

I’d forgotten how beautiful it is to have someone remember how you like your coffee and have it waiting for you. Hearing the door open and, Hey, I’m home, brings a smile to my face every time. Yeah, something as simple and Good Night and Good Morning are missed beyond measure when you’re suddenly thrust into widowhood.

So as I couch surf my way through the US this summer, I have a message for my new roomies. Whether we’re family by law, tradition, or heart, “Hey. I’m back. And damn I’ve missed you. Now, what can I cook for you?”

XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

Post Soundtrack

Family Time (Ziggy Marley)

Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song
Its family time its family time its family time
Hi how you doing
Hi how you been

Its really good to know we still got this thing
When we get together its so much fun
Everyone’s happy no ones gotta run
Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song

Its family time its family time its family time
Now the world gets busy but its not hard to see
Family means the most to me
I’m so happy we found this time
We can all share whats on our minds
Lift up your hearts with a smile
Lift up your feet with a dance
Lift up your spirits with a song

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