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The Wandering Widow

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Home » Coping with Grief» Featured» Widowhood » My Re-Birth Day

My Re-Birth Day

July 15, 2020 By Lisa Bain

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A Keeping It Real Post

Last week, on D’s deathiversary, I posted a photo on my social media and called it my Re-Birth Day. And while I don’t feel the need to explain myself to the raised eyebrows, I want to.

After D’s first deathiversary, when I collapsed in a drunk, sobbing heap on the floor of my bedroom, I made it my mission never again to honor or ritualize the worst day of my life. Instead, I chose to celebrate July 10th as my Re-Birth Day. That’s how I’ve referred to it in my head for the last three years, even if last week was the first time I said it publicly.

As painful as it was (no wonder newborns come kicking and screaming into this world), it was the first day of my new life. It took a long time, but I learned to walk, laugh, and live the heck out of this life in a way I’d never done before he died. I chose to make the most of the time I had left, no matter how hard or scary it may appear. Looking back, I know it took me losing everything to finally learn how to live.

Image by C B from Pixabay

So there you have it. My Re-Birth Day has nothing to do with disrespecting D and everything to do with loving myself. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to lose a loved one to have your own Re-Birth Day. I hope you don’t wait too long to have one. The clock is ticking.

XOXO,
Lisa
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.

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Filed Under: Coping with Grief, Featured, Widowhood Tagged With: Bereavement, Broken Open, Coping, Deathiversary, Grief, Grief Journey, Grief Literacy, Grief Recovery, Grief Support, Healing, Life After Loss, Mental Health, Re-Birth Day, Reckless Truth Teller, Survivor, Wandering Widow, Widow Wednesday, Widowhood, Widows


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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jenifer Davis says

    July 15, 2020 at 10:05 am

    Until you said it, the term would never occur to me. It is actually the perfect. You are reborn after that day. How could you not be? Except in this birthing we have more of a choice than the first one. Thank you for articulating what, I’m sure, many feel. ?

    • Lisa Bain says

      July 15, 2020 at 2:09 pm

      ❤️❤️❤️

  2. D says

    July 17, 2020 at 6:11 am

    Dear Lisa: first I want to say that I just ordered your book and cannot wait to read it! It has been 2 years since my much loved husband, who was also my best friend, died too young after a brutal 3 year battle with cancer; with me as his caregiver. But after making it through the first tearful year without him, I will say that it has been a huge relief to now be able to sleep through the night most nights since his death; without checking all night long to see if he is breathing , having to give meds at 1am, or having to call 911 the many times during the night when he was having a seizure and be rushed to the ICU. I am now finally laughing and somewhat enjoying my own life again, but with no children, it sometimes gets lonely. I thank you so much for your honesty and your support. You have no idea how much you help people.

    • Lisa Bain says

      September 4, 2020 at 9:17 am

      Dianne, Thank you so much for reading and sharing your story. Sending you big hugs and cheering you on as you laugh. XO, Lisa

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Heart of a Kingdom is a riveting tale of love, courage, loss, and survival set in the magical Kingdom of the Talking Tres, and the City of Belfast. Newly widowed Queen Libby must endure the devastating loss of her husband, do the … Read More about New Book: Heart Of A Kingdom

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Lisa Bain became a young widow in 2016 after losing her husband to cancer. She quickly learned we live in a grief phobic society, which isolates the grieving even further. With both humor and heartbreak, she shares her story and lessons she's learned to help those grieving remember they aren't alone, and to help their family and friends that just don't know what to do to help.

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