A Keeping It Real Post
Last week, on D’s deathiversary, I posted a photo on my social media and called it my Re-Birth Day. And while I don’t feel the need to explain myself to the raised eyebrows, I want to.
After D’s first deathiversary, when I collapsed in a drunk, sobbing heap on the floor of my bedroom, I made it my mission never again to honor or ritualize the worst day of my life. Instead, I chose to celebrate July 10th as my Re-Birth Day. That’s how I’ve referred to it in my head for the last three years, even if last week was the first time I said it publicly.
As painful as it was (no wonder newborns come kicking and screaming into this world), it was the first day of my new life. It took a long time, but I learned to walk, laugh, and live the heck out of this life in a way I’d never done before he died. I chose to make the most of the time I had left, no matter how hard or scary it may appear. Looking back, I know it took me losing everything to finally learn how to live.
So there you have it. My Re-Birth Day has nothing to do with disrespecting D and everything to do with loving myself. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to lose a loved one to have your own Re-Birth Day. I hope you don’t wait too long to have one. The clock is ticking.
XOXO,
Lisa
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.
Until you said it, the term would never occur to me. It is actually the perfect. You are reborn after that day. How could you not be? Except in this birthing we have more of a choice than the first one. Thank you for articulating what, I’m sure, many feel. 💜
❤️❤️❤️
Dear Lisa: first I want to say that I just ordered your book and cannot wait to read it! It has been 2 years since my much loved husband, who was also my best friend, died too young after a brutal 3 year battle with cancer; with me as his caregiver. But after making it through the first tearful year without him, I will say that it has been a huge relief to now be able to sleep through the night most nights since his death; without checking all night long to see if he is breathing , having to give meds at 1am, or having to call 911 the many times during the night when he was having a seizure and be rushed to the ICU. I am now finally laughing and somewhat enjoying my own life again, but with no children, it sometimes gets lonely. I thank you so much for your honesty and your support. You have no idea how much you help people.
Dianne, Thank you so much for reading and sharing your story. Sending you big hugs and cheering you on as you laugh. XO, Lisa