A Keeping It Real Post
Earlier this year I was talking with one of my best guy friends about how I’m doing. We chatted about life, love and the universe. We talked about Dan, and what he might think about my life today; the adventures I have, the people I meet, and the choices I make. It’s an ever evolving conversation.
Concerned, my Bro asked if I felt guilty about feeling happy and moving forward with my life. I assured him I was living life guilt free, and had Dan to thank for that. Dan taught me many things over the years. He taught me how to shoot, the best ways to clean a gun, about NASCAR and NASA, military tactical strategy, how to eat ravioli from a can when camping, and how to love deep down to the soul. But the most important lesson he gave me was how to live life to the fullest, without apology.
I miss him every day, but love my life. It’s been hard to reconcile the two at times, but I eventually came to think of it as a Double Helix. They exist intertwined with each other and are equally important to my whole. Loving what we had, and loving what I have now, aren’t mutually exclusive. But it took a long time for me to heal enough to realize that. Grief is a bitch. So is survivor guilt.
So there I was comfortably coasting along in my Double Helix metaphor, hanging out in the past and the present. I was having an overall good time but still refused to think about the future.
Ever notice how the universe has a funny way of pushing us forward even if we don’t want it to? About the time I began acknowledging what I might want in my future, I made a new friend who likes to talk about the Triple Helix, a common description used for the point where government, industry, and academia intersect for the benefit of innovation and development. I’d never really thought about one before, but it fit this new phase of my life like a missing puzzle piece, and I quickly appropriated it.
I’ve always been a silver-lining kinda girl, but optimism disappeared from my life when the words Stage Four Terminal Cancer came crashing into my universe. But that positive outlook is back! I’ve missed it, and now see optimism about the future as that third strand in my helix. Together, all three make up my story. Together, my triple helix becomes my beginning.
So now I’m living a Triple Helix Life. I even Googled it so I could get a clear visual and realized it’s an image that I’ve seen my whole life, only in cross-section; the mighty triquetra or triskelion. You know how happy I am when I can connect anything back to Ireland, but variations of this image can be found in cultures around the world, including in Japan, which is where I first encountered it as a child.
The triple helix is symbolic of wholeness. It can represent the Past-Present-Future; the Holy Trinity; and the unity of body, mind, and spirit. Whatever it means for you, I hope you’ll find your Triple Helix Life too.
XOXO,
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce
Post Soundtrack
Open the boxes, unpack what you own
Hang up some posters and make this a home
Walk down the stairs and open the door
Look at the things you’ve never seen before
This is the beginning, of anything you want
This is the beginning
Get on the buses, learn numbers and names
Your eyes are the camera, your heart is the frame
Hum a new song as you walk down the streets
Soon they’ll be full with friends and memories
This is the beginning, of anything you want
This is the beginning
Written by: PHILIPP STEINKE, SONJA GLASS, VALESKA ANNA STEINER
Lyrics © THE BICYCLE MUSIC COMPANY