Holy Hannah. It’s been a hot minute. How ya doin?
Today I am officially one day older than D was when he died. I know it’s a strange thing to find hovering around in my awareness this far into my AfterLoss journey, but here it is, just hanging out. A few years ago, another Widow fixated on that date for herself, and I remember adding it to my calendar as a curiosity. Today that curiosity showed up as a reminder. (And since I don’t believe in coincidences, the fact today is also the 1010 Portal makes me laugh.)
I’ve spent most of the weekend in quiet contemplation about the difference a day can make. I have lived a lifetime in this One More Day he fought so hard to see. And it’s been a life full of beauty and laughter and leaning into everything real and raw and hard, no matter how nervous it made me.
And I have lived that One More Day for myself, not him. I no longer wonder whether he would be proud of me because I am proud of myself. And that’s all the validation I need.
These days living the heck out of One More Day is a habit. I won’t waste a single one or take it for granted. They aren’t all full of adventure, but they are all full of life. And if we can live a lifetime in a day, what will you choose to do with yours?
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.
I know I said I wasn’t going to blog about grief or life in the AfterLoss anymore, but my guides have been pretty clear. I need to get back to this topic right this freaking minute, so here we are. Again.
And since I just got back from an epic trip to New England, here are some of my favorite photos that have little to do with this post other than I’m out living my best life.