"Sometimes, I wonder if we ever truly let anyone completely in. The desire for another human being to know you, all of you, all the pieces, even the ones you're ashamed of — is huge. But too often, we sit down and sort through the pieces only picking out the pretty ones, … [Read more...] about What It Means To Hold Space for the Bereaved
A Keeping It Real Post In the last 48 hours, the world's reaction to the news of Kobe Bryant's tragic death has gone from shock to sadness to anger. Many rape survivors are understandably angry at the collective outpouring of grief for this man, who seems to have gotten … [Read more...] about When Love was Complicated, the Grief is Too
"I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me. They, and the love and loyalty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could." Veronica Roth, Allegiant A Keeping It Real Post When your husband dies, he takes part of you with him. I'm not … [Read more...] about Widowhood Stole My Identity. I’m Throwing Off the Shackles and Taking It Back.
A Friends and Family Post Thursday is American Thanksgiving and the kickoff to the holiday season. It's also a time that has the potential to be extra painful to the bereaved. I've written a bunch on this, so consider this a gentle reminder and request: please, say their … [Read more...] about Say Their Names
A Friends and Family Post I was recently visiting with my friend about his mom. Their family was in the terrible-no-good-very-bad-place where they knew they were going to lose their dad. It was imminent. I remember the pain of that time period all too well: not sleeping, … [Read more...] about Brain Fog is a Blessing (Widow Brain is a Good Thing)
Dedicated to Big Larry and Papa Woolsey. Thank you for raising such good humans and sharing them with me. Rest in love and light. A Friends and Family Post Last week, two of my best friends both lost their dads on the same day. Until that day, I never realized how grateful I … [Read more...] about Triage (Helping Your W In the First Days)