A What Not To Say Post
“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”
Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now
Ladies, I know that when we get together it’s common to wrap up the party with a “complain about our husbands” session. Guys do it too, so this post isn’t directed at ladies only. But since I’m a woman and not usually invited to dude bitch sessions, I can only write about what I know.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Ladies, part of me would like to tell y’all to just shut the hell up, especially when you’re complaining about your husbands in front of a Widow. Could you be more insensitive? Pretty sure your mama taught you better than that.
A Public Service Announcement
But that’s not really what this post is about. This is actually a public service announcement. I have something I think you should know, that will hopefully spare you some future guilt. It’s really important, so please listen up. Ready? When he dies (and statistically speaking the odds are he’ll die before you) you’re really gonna miss whatever stupid thing it is you’re complaining about.
Yep. I know it’s hard to believe, but you’ll long for the snoring that kept you awake at night when your new world is suddenly silent. You’ll break down in tears at the clean closet floor that used to be littered with dirty socks and tee shirts that, inexplicably, never quite made it to the laundry hamper. While you’re struggling to make ends meet without him, you’ll wish he was late for dinner again because he was working late (again) to provide for his family. You’ll find yourself turning on shows you never liked just to hear the noise and pretend he’s still dozing on the couch instead of doing whatever chore you thought he should be doing.
Instead of complaining about whatever he did or didn’t do, you’ll find yourself complaining about all the time you wasted complaining. You’ll regret bitching about the things that you now know aren’t important, and the lost opportunities. You’ll wish you spoke softer and kinder.
I know you won’t believe me. I know, because I did it too. Death and widowhood were so far off my radar they may as well not have existed. Fast forward to today and I’d give anything to stomp all over those words. Instead of complaining, I’d plop down on the couch next to him, leaving dirty socks on the floor, to snuggle up and listen to him snoring in front of the TV instead of doing chores.
The next time you get together with your lady friends, think about your words. If you knew he was going to die tomorrow, you probably wouldn’t care enough to still complain.
Just thought you should know.
The Wandering Widow
Live Now. Dream Big. Love Fierce.
Thanks for the topic request. Got a subject you’d like to read about? Message me. And thanks for reading. XO, L